I’m getting personal in today’s post. FYI: this post is not well written or thought out. It’s not meant as any type of advice, either. Just sharing some personal information.
I have been married to my husband for almost five years now. We’ve been together for nine. We have two amazing boys together. Our relationship has had more ups and downs than I would like to admit. Sometimes I feel as though we should have called it quits a long time ago. We get into arguments and hold grudges. I complain to my friends about what he’s doing or not doing. I say I’m done and that I can’t take anymore. We talk it out. We makeup. We’re happy for a little while and then we repeat the whole process.
I know we’re not the only couple that does this.
We’ve been going through a lot this year. Last night we went on a date to talk about things. To figure out if we could work it out or if we should part ways. It was a nice dinner. We had a good conversation. You know what I realized? We don’t take care of our marriage. We don’t put effort into it. We hardly ever go on dates. We hardly ever just talk. We’ve let life get in the way. He plays a lot of golf because he loves it and it is a stress reliever for him. I get pissed off when he plays golf too much and get mad for him not helping me around the house.
I’m bitter towards him because he doesn’t help when I need it most – but I don’t ask for help. I have a hard time asking for what I need. It’s silly when you think about it. I’m mad at him because he doesn’t help out and I assume he knows what I need without asking. He’s a man. I have come to learn that they can’t read minds. You have to tell them what you need.
He admitted he needed to be home more and when he was home he needed to help me out and take on some responsibilities. I had to explain to him that being a stay-at-home-mom was really hard for me. I can’t do it all by myself. I don’t get a break – being mom is a 24/7 job. He didn’t know I felt this way.
I promised him I would tell him what I needed and put my foot down when I had to.
After our long discussion (and getting some gluten-free midnight magic cupcakes from GiGi’s) I felt much better. We both did.
Each time we go through something like this I do feel closer to him. We can learn from our problems or we can run from them. We’re choosing to learn. We can’t expect our relationship to work if we ignore and don’t care for it. I’m willing to put in the work and he is, too. That makes me happy.